While thus before Him, I settled it that it was God dealing with me, and I was able to understand what He said to me and to believe it. So I answered Him by raising my hand (literally) and saying, “Yes, Lord, I believe You give me the $50., and I thank You for them.” I believed what God said concerning the matter. I did not of my own accord and with my own wisdom hurry to obtain a promise. The deal was closed upon the authority of His Word. It was not a special promise (however, it could have been), but it was His word to my heart;· an intimation of His will and desire. And I wanted to do His will and desire.
I did not mention this matter to anyone but kept it as a little secret between the Lord and myself. (This is the kind of a secret society in which I believe.) Days passed and weeks wore on but no $50. came. Naturally I thought of at least two or three ways He might possibly use to meet the need. I watched the mail, and yet I really knew no one was likely to send the amount to me. Of course, during the weeks that followed I was tested and the enemy tried to upset me, but I still said to the Lord, “Dear Lord, I am believing what You said to me and I am doing the one thing You asked me to do: I am trusting You.”
Sometimes the little transaction faded and it did not seem real, but I knew that was wholly a matter of feeling and rested in my emotional life, and such impressions are not to be trusted. I had to learn not to pay any attention to them. The enemy tried to confuse me and tempt me because I had not gone to the Bible and chosen a promise. But I still kept the one word God had given me and cherished that in my heart.
The weeks went by and God taught me some precious and valuable lessons which I cannot now relate. He made me to know that I was not to worry about how He would work it all out to supply the money that was His business. All I was to do was to blindly go on trusting; that what He had said; that would He also do.